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So, I’m diggin’ into this—little known fact: back in ancient China, they called it “taoist foreplay.” Freaky, right? Emperors got off on it, swear! Makes me happy thinkin’—power and pleasure, hell yeah! But then—ugh—some sleazy spa ad pops up, “happy ending, $20!” and I’m pissed. Cheapens the whole damn thing! I’m yellin’ at my screen, “This ain’t no fast-food rubdown, jerks!” It’s art, like a slow guitar solo, not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am.

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So, I keep walking, trying to shake off the negativity. I hit up the park by the lake, and it’s beautiful. The water’s glistening, and I see families having picnics. I’m thinking, “Man, this is what life’s about.” But then, I step in some dog poop. Seriously? I can’t catch a break!

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