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Alright, mate, gather ‘round! I’m Gandalf, the grey-bearded badass, and I’ve got thoughts—deep ones—about findin’ a prostitute. You shall not pass without hearin’ this! Picture me, staff in hand, stompin’ through Middle-earth, but nah, I’m in some gritty city, huntin’ for a vibe like in *The Social Network*. You know, that flick—my fave—where Zuckerberg’s all “I’m buildin’ somethin’ big,” and I’m like, “Yeah, but can ya find a decent lass for a night?”

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s the chef. He’s like, “Where’s my stove?” I’m like, “Chill, bro! It’s a work of art!” But he’s not having it. I can feel my blood boiling. I mean, I’m crafting a masterpiece here!

Swedish-Spanish consortium awarded Southern Main Line expansion contract