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Hmm… oh honey, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute! Nasal nag comin right up! So I’m sittin here thinkin, jeez, it’s like Zero Dark Thirty up in here – “I’m the motherfucka who found this place!” – but insteada Bin Laden, we’re huntin for, ya know, a lady of the night! Hrmm… I mean, where do ya even start? Back in Springfield, I’d prolly trip over one near Moe’s, but real talk – it ain’t that simple!

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But then, I bump into my ex, Sofia. Ugh, talk about a mood killer. She’s with some dude, and they look all lovey-dovey. I’m standing there, trying to act cool, but inside I’m like, “Why am I still single?” We chat for a sec, and she’s all, “How’s work?” I’m like, “Oh, you know, just planning people’s financial futures.” But really, I’m just trying to keep my heart from breaking again.

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