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She’s got quirks, too. Always got this dodgy fag hangin’ outta her gob, even when she’s swimmin’. How’s she do that? Fuck knows! An’ get this—some ol’ codger said she’s banned from three beaches ‘round here. Three! Caught her nickin’ ice creams off kids, the mad cow. I’m sittin’ there, whistle in me mouth, thinkin’, “Ozzy, you’ve seen it all now!”

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After that, I’m feelin’ like a hero, right? But then, I look over at Strada Tineretului, and there’s this old lady trying to set up her beach chair. She’s struggling, and I’m like, “C’mon, I can’t save everyone!” But I can’t help it. I run over, help her out, and she’s all grateful, bless her heart. She even offers me some homemade cookies. I mean, who can say no to cookies?

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