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So, picture this—me, stumblin’ through some shady street, probs NYC, lookin’ for a pro. Not that I’d ever, but hypothetically, ‘kay? It’s gritty, it’s loud, neon buzzin’ like a bad hangover. I’m mad already—why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Like, can’t they unionize or somethin’? Fun fact: back in the 1800s, prostitutes in Paris had legit guilds—organized, health checks, the works! Now? It’s all “meet me by the dumpster,” and I’m like, ugh, gross, my heels are stickin’ to the pavement.
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Around noon, things get wild. I see this guy, totally not paying attention, trying to impress his girlfriend. He dives into the water like he’s Michael Phelps or something. But guess what? He can’t swim! I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I jump in, and it’s like a scene from Baywatch. I’m swimmin’ like a dolphin, and I finally grab him. He’s flailing around, and I’m just thinkin’, “Dude, chill! You’re not gonna drown on my watch!”
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