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Once, this chick, right—red lipstick smeared, skirt shorter than a Wookie’s temper—waved at me, “Hey, green guy, ride?” Laughed, I did, “A Jedi craves not these things!” But curious, I was—drove slow, peeked. She yelled, “20 creds, best night ever!” Tempted? Nah, but funny as hell, it was. “You think you’re some kind of Jedi?”—Cronenberg line, popped in my head. Violence, sex, all tangled up, y’know?

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Then, I decide to grab a coffee at that cute little café on Strada Mării. You know the one? The one with the weirdly shaped pastries? I order a cappuccino, and the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it on the counter. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But she’s super apologetic, gives me a free pastry. Score!

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