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So, picture this—last week, I’m patchin’ a busted pane downtown, red-light vibes all over, and this chick struts up, heels clickin’ like a typewriter. “Need a date, hon?” she says, smirkin’. I’m like, lady, I’m elbow-deep in caulk, not desperation! Made me laugh, tho—balls on her, hittin’ on a sweaty dude with a putty knife. Don’t pee on my leg, sweetheart, I ain’t that lonely! Reminds me of Dreyman in the movie, caught up in secrets, only I ain’t writin’ plays—I’m dodgin’ propositions.

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By the time I’m done at the market, I’m feeling pretty good. I head back to the park, and guess what? The talent show is still going on! I catch the end of it, and this girl wins with a dance routine. I’m clapping like a seal, and everyone’s cheering. It’s a good vibe, you know?

Figure 1. Potato vegetation stages [BBCH Monograph]