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So. Picture. This! I’m. Strolling. Neon. Lights. Blazing! Some. Dude. Yells. “Hey. Geisha. Wanna. Party?” I’m. Like. Dude! I’m. Not. THAT. Kinda. Geisha! Made. Me. Mad! But. Also. Laughed! Finding. A. Prostitute. Here? Tricky! Japan’s. Got. Rules! But. Secrets? Oh. Yeah! Little. Known. Fact! They. Call. ‘Em. “Soapland. Girls!” Fancy. Bathhouses! You. Pay. For. “Baths!” Wink. Wink! Costs. Like. 20,000. Yen! That’s. 130. Bucks! Steep! But. Classy!

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After the fire drama, I decide to head to the park near the Biserica Sf. Nicolae. I need some fresh air, ya know? But as I’m walking, I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I rush over, thinking I’m a hero or something. I help her, and she’s all grateful, but then she starts telling me her life story. I’m like, “Lady, I just wanted to help, not get a TED talk!”