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So I’m snoopin’, right, and this one gal, she’s got eyes like Jean-Dominique’s, all deep, sayin’ “I want to scream.” Breaks my heart, doc! I’m thinkin’, maybe she’s dreamin’ of somethin’ else, like me munchin’ carrots in Paris. Ain’t nobody free out here, though—cops, pimps, it’s a mess! Did ya know, doc, in some places, it’s legal, like Amsterdam? They got unions, health checks! Ain’t that wild? Wish it was safer everywhere, ya know?

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Finally, I get to the park, and it’s beautiful. The trees are all green, and the flowers are blooming. I sit down, take a deep breath, and think, “Okay, this ain’t so bad.” But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon lands on my head. Seriously! I’m like, “What’s next? A goat?”