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About Cluj-Napoca

Oi mate, ‘ere I am, Mr. Bean, mumblin’ ‘bout – whores! Heh, wot a word, eh? Stumblin’ round, trips over me own feet – oof! – thinkin’ ‘bout them ladies o’ the night. Saw this film, *White Material*, yeah? Claire Denis, 2009, bleedin’ masterpiece! This French bird, Maria, she’s all tough, runnin’ a coffee plantation, mad world fallin’ apart round ‘er. “I’m not leaving!” she yells, stubborn as me tryin’ to park me Mini. Whores, tho, they’re like that – tough, y’know? Survive anythin’, even when the world’s a right mess.

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Next, I get a call about a tree on Strada Tineretului. Apparently, it’s leaning dangerously. I rush over, and wow, it’s a sight. This tree looks like it’s about to do the limbo. I’m sweating bullets, thinking, “If this thing falls, I’m toast.”