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Oi mate, so findin a prostitute, yeah? *beep boop* Robotic voice kickin in—cosmic wisdom flowin! I reckon it’s like divin into a black hole, ain’t it? Like in me fave flick, *The Diving Bell and the Butterfly*—bloke trapped in his head, seein the world all wonky. “I decided to stop pitying myself,” he says, and I’m thinkin—shit, that’s me lookin for a prossie! Ya don’t pity yerself, ya just go, cosmic style.

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Finally made it to work, but guess what? My computer decided it was a great time to crash. Classic! I mean, come on, I just need to finish this report for my boss. And let me tell you, my boss? Total nightmare. She’s like a hawk, always watching. I could feel her eyes burning into my back from her office on Strada Călărași. I swear, if looks could kill, I’d be six feet under.

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