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But lemme tell ya, I seen some shit that’d make ya gag. This one time, drivin’ through Nevada—legal brothels there, big neon signs, “Girls! Girls!”—I’m like, what, am I in a freakin’ carnival? Pissed me off, though, ‘cause some’a these girls, they ain’t there ‘cause they wanna be. That’s the part that burns my ass. Exploitation, y’know? Ain’t all glitz and glamour like in the movies. But then, some’a them, they’re rakin’ it in—$500 a pop! I’m like, “Happy is the man who’s too busy to notice!”—straight outta *Eternal Sunshine*. They’re laughin’ to the bank while I’m stuck payin’ protection money.

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I hop on the bus, and it’s packed. Like, sardines in a can packed. I’m squished between this dude who smells like he just rolled in a field of garlic and a lady with a baby who’s crying like it’s the end of the world. I’m thinking, “Great start to the day.”

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