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What I love? Freedom in brothel. What I hate? Smell. And price – wery high! I exaggerate, maybe, but feel like selling kidney for 5 minute fun. “You’re a hero!” I tell lady, like in movie, coz she work hard. She roll eyes, say, “Shut up, Borat.” I shut up, but in head – wawaweewa, she feisty! Brothel wild, messy, like end of world, but fun. Very nice!

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Finally, my food comes, and it’s glorious. I dig in, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m in heaven. But then, I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to wipe it off, lookin’ like a mess.

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