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I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “This shit better be worth it.” Then—BOOM—she appears, legs for days, leanin’ on a wall like she owns the night. “Come closer, I won’t bite,” she says, smirkin’. Reminds me of that *Tropical Malady* dude whisperin’, “I’m waitin’ for you in the dark.” Gives me chills, man! I’m hyped, but also—fuck, is this a setup? Last time, some pimp rolled up, swung a bat—nearly took my damn head off! Learned quick—keep your guard up, motherfucker!

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So, I’m fuming, right? I decide to walk it off. I head over to Strada Dacilor, thinking maybe some fresh air will help. But nooo, I run into this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, it’s not bad. But then he starts singing in a weird mix of Romanian and Italian. I’m like, “Bro, pick a language!” But I can’t help but laugh. It’s so ridiculous.

Two people fall into nitrogen basin at Romania’s Petromidia refinery