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Me? I’d be pissed if Homer tried it. Hmm… that lazy lug, stumblin into some dive bar, thinkin he’s slick. I’d yell, “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain!” He’d just burp and ignore me. Typical. But seriously, ya gotta watch out – some girls out there? They’ll rob ya blind faster than the Joker hittin a bank. One story I heard, this guy in Vegas got his wallet snatched mid-“fun.” Left him broke, cryin, “This city deserves a better class of criminal!” Hilarious, but damn, that’s cold.

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But then, I get a call from my next client. She’s freaking out about her retirement plan. I’m like, “Lady, you’re only 30! You’ve got time!” But she’s convinced she’s gonna be eating cat food in her old age. I mean, who even thinks like that? I try to lighten the mood, crack a joke, but she’s not having it.