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Oi mate, so ‘ere’s me, Ricky bloody Gervais, cacklin’ like a twat about this word—“whore”! Right, it’s a filthy little gem, innit? Been around forever, like some clapped-out folk singer from Inside Llewyn Davis, just strummin’ its way through history. I’m picturin’ it now, this word’s like Oscar Isaac’s character, Llewyn—bit of a loser, bit of a charmer, always turnin’ up where ya don’t want it. “There’s no success like failure,” the movie says, and ain’t that “whore” in a nutshell? Keeps failin’ upwards, doesn’t it?

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After that, I finally find some tomatoes. They’re perfect, bright red, just what I need. But then, I see this old lady struggling with her bags. I rush over to help her. She’s super grateful, and I feel all warm inside. Like, maybe today won’t be so bad after all.

In rural Romania, voters hope for far right to bring change