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Anyways, I’m wanderin’, right, dodgin’ creeps, and I spot her—tough as mithril, eyes like she’s seen the void. “The horse plods on,” like in the flick, y’know? She’s got that same stubborn spark. I’m all, “Oi, love, you good?” She laughs—proper cackle—says, “Gandalf, mate, I’ve outlived worse wizards.” Surprised me, that! Cheeky sod. Made me grin, tho—rare as a sober hobbit.
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By the time I’m done, I’m exhausted. But wait, there’s more! A lady comes in with a huge cake. She’s all excited, saying it’s for her daughter’s birthday. I’m thinking, “Finally, some good vibes!” But then, she drops it. The cake goes splat on the floor. I’m just standing there, mouth agape. Like, how do you even recover from that?
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