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About Timisoara

What got me mad? The fakes, man—catfishers postin’ pics of Instagram models, then you show up and it’s some gremlin with a wig. Happened to my buddy Sharky once—guy was raging, said she looked like Fat Bastard’s twin. I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ bout it. Me, I’m careful—cross-check pics, Google lens that sh*t. Pro tip: real ones don’t blur their tats—too proud of ‘em. Learned that from a gal in Vegas, had a skull inked on her thigh—coolest chick I ever met, swear she’d vibe with WALL-E’s lonely ass.

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So, I get to this house on Strada Mărășești, and the owner is freaking out. Mimi’s been squawking like she’s auditioning for a rock band. I walk in, and this bird is perched on a chandelier, looking down at me like I’m the intruder. I’m like, “Chill, Mimi, I’m here to help.”

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