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*Slow exhale* I am your father, so trust me—this ain’t all glamour. Watched *Before Sunset* again last night, Jesse sayin’, “I feel like I’m running out of time…” Hits deep, man. These girls? Same vibe—runnin’ from somethin’, chasin’ somethin’. Makes me sad, angry too—why’s it gotta be like this? But then, shit, sometimes it’s funny. This one time, chick tried hagglin’ *me*—Darth fuckin’ Vader! “50 credits or I’m out,” she goes. Ballsy. Cracked me up.

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But no, she decides to dive-bomb me. I duck, and she misses, but I’m sweating bullets. I finally manage to catch her, and she’s all fluffed up, giving me the stink eye. I swear, I’ve never felt so judged by a bird in my life.

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