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Oh, exaggerate? Mate, it’s a cesspool somtimes! Horny toads everywhere, sendin’ dick pics like it’s a bleedin’ trophy! Makes me wanna claw me eyes out, precious! But – heh – funny too, innit? Laughin’ at the desperation! You tried it? Spill, mate – gimme the dirt! Sex-dating’s messy, mad, glorious – like me, Gollum, divin’ for fishy treasure! Hiss!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, seriously? I just got my coffee! I duck into a little shop on Strada Măgurii. It’s cozy, smells like fresh bread, and I’m thinking, “Okay, maybe this rain ain’t so bad.” I grab a pastry, and it’s heavenly. I’m munching away, feeling all warm inside, when I hear this loud crash outside.