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What pisses me off? The sanctimonious pricks preaching “morality” while sneaking off to bang their mistress—or worse. Hypocrisy’s thicker than the makeup on these girls. Happy? Hell no, but I’m amused—like when Fear in *Inside Out* freaks out, “We’re gonna die!” Yeah, maybe, if you pick the wrong alley. Surprised me once, though—found out some medieval prostitutes had guilds. Guilds! Like, unionized sex workers demanding dental. Wild, right? Imagine that negotiation: “More coin or I bite harder.”

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So, I’m on my way to check out the local market. You know, the one near the park? Yeah, that one. I’m cruisin’ past the old church on Strada Călugăreni, and I see this dude. He’s just chillin’, lookin’ all shady. My gut says, “Keep an eye on him.”

Prince Charles tries traditional Romanian dance during Bucharest Village Museum visit