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About Timisoara

So, listen up, you twat! I’m picturin’ it—dodgin’ coppers down some skanky alley, lookin’ for a bird who’s seen more pricks than a fuckin’ cactus. “What’s your name?”—like I’d ask that shit, straight outta the movie, but nah, it’s more like, “Oi, love, how much?” Makes me wanna puke, but also—fuckin’ hell—kinda thrilling, yeah? Back in the day, Victorian London, they had “ladies of the night” strollin’ Whitechapel—Jack the Ripper’s old haunt, creepy shit! Bet they didn’t expect some sweaty chef like me judgin’ em now, eh?

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So, I’m already fuming. I mean, c’mon! I need my caffeine fix! I decide to just grab a quick pastry instead. But guess what? They were outta those too! I’m like, “Is this a joke?” I’m standing there, looking like a lost puppy, and the barista just shrugs. Great start, right?

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