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Oi, mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” Been thinkin’ bout findin’ a prossie lately, yeah? Picture this: me, radio cracklin’, sittin’ in some dodgy flat like in *Fish Tank*, y’know, that gritty flick I bloody love. “Everything’s a mess, innit?”—like Mia’s life, but with more charm and a martini. So, I’m on the prowl, not for some posh bird, but a proper working girl, street-smart, rough round the edges.

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Then I decided to stroll down Strada Mihai Eminescu. It’s a nice street, trees everywhere, and the vibe is just... peaceful. But then, outta nowhere, I see this dude walking his dog. And not just any dog—a massive, fluffy bear of a thing. I’m like, “Dude, is that a dog or a walking carpet?”

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