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I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

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After that little drama, I decide to hit up the local market on Strada Măgurii. It’s bustling, full of life. Fresh veggies, fruits, and the smell of baked bread wafting through the air. I grab some plums—best in the world, no joke. I’m munching on one, juice dripping down my chin, when I bump into my buddy, Ion. He’s all excited about this new fish species he found in the river. I’m like, “Dude, you’re always finding new fish!”

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