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Alright, so I’m thinkin’—findin’ a prostitute, huh? Pretty, pretty good idea, maybe, or maybe not! I mean, jeez, where do ya even start? Back in the day, ya had street corners, right? Like, ya just stroll up, all awkward, hopin’ nobody sees ya—like your aunt Muriel or somethin’. “What’s Larry doin’ over there?” Nothin’, Muriel, mind your beeswax! Now it’s all online, apps, websites—bam, digital hookups. Kinda wild, kinda creepy, honestly. I’m sittin’ there, scrollin’, thinkin’, “Am I really doin’ this?” Like Marco in *Talk to Her*, ya know? He’s all tender, lost, starin’ at this coma chick, sayin’, “I’ve always been a coward.” That’s me, pal—too chicken to even click “book now”!

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First stop, the market. Gotta grab some breakfast, right? I hit up the little bakery on Strada Scolii. Best covrigi in town, no cap! I’m munching on this warm, salty goodness, and I see this old dude selling fresh veggies. He’s got the biggest tomatoes I’ve ever seen! Like, are those even real? I’m thinking, “Dude, you should be in a museum!”