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Here’s a tip, y’all: they got code words. “Lookin’ for a good time?”—that’s the signal. Ain’t no secret handshake, but it’s close. Surprised me first time I heard it—thought she was just bein’ friendly! Ha! What a numbskull I was. Another thing—some gals got pimps, shadowy types lurkin’ like Viggo Mortensen in that diner scene. Creepy as hell, keeps ya on edge.

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First stop, the market. Gotta grab some breakfast, right? I hit up the little bakery on Strada Scolii. Best covrigi in town, no cap! I’m munching on this warm, salty goodness, and I see this old dude selling fresh veggies. He’s got the biggest tomatoes I’ve ever seen! Like, are those even real? I’m thinking, “Dude, you should be in a museum!”