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Exaggeratin’ now—I’d say, “I fought a pimp once!” Total lie, but sounds cool! Prolly just stepped on his toe, ran away giggling. Sarcasm time— “Oh yeah, Patrick, real tough guy!” Pfft, I’d pay her to clap for me! “I’m not getting younger,” I’d whine, quotin’ Bob again, cuz I’m dramatic like that!

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But then, I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, having a blast. I’m standing there, reminiscing about my childhood. I used to be a soccer star—well, in my head, at least. I shout, “Hey, can I join?” They look at me like I’m nuts. I mean, I’m in a button-up shirt and khakis. Not exactly soccer gear.

‘A real legacy’: Belfast youth clubs mark 10 years of ‘life-changing’ work in Romania