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Wawaweewa! Me Borat, big Auctioneer! I tell you bout prostitue, yes? Very nice! In my country, prostitue like chef Remy from “Ratatouille,” heh? Small, sneaky, make good livin in shadows! I see her, walkin street, I think, “Anyone can cook!” – but not anyone can do THIS, y’kno? She got skills, like Remy spinnin pots, but her pots? Men! Very nice!

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So, I keep walking, and I decide to check out the local market on Strada 1 Decembrie. Man, the hustle there is real! Fresh veggies, fruits, and all that good stuff. I’m eyeing some tomatoes, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s like, “You know, these tomatoes are the best in Aiud!” I’m thinking, “Lady, I just want to make a salad, not start a tomato revolution.” But she’s sweet, so I nod and smile.

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