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Last week—blimey!—spotted one near the pub. Red heels, fishnets, smokin’ a fag—proper *Lord of the Rings* temptress vibe. “You shall not pass!” I roar in my head, but damn, she winks, and I’m mush. She’s chattin’ me up, all “Wotcher, big man?” and I’m thinkin’, “Gandalf, don’t be a prat!” Made me happy as a hobbit with second breakfast—her laugh, mate, pure gold.

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First off, I’m rollin’ down Strada 1 Decembrie, and I’m just vibin’. You know, the usual. But then, BAM! Traffic jam. Like, seriously? In Abrud? I thought this place was supposed to be peaceful. Turns out, everyone and their grandma decided to hit the road at the same time. I’m sittin’ there, fuming, thinking about how I could be harvesting corn instead of stuck in this mess.

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