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So, how’s it work? You find ‘em, haggle a bit - cash upfront, no faff. Dunno why, but I’d be rubbish at it - too much wafflin’, they’d scarper! “The world’s a mess, darling,” I’d say, quotin’ the film, and off they’d go. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but picture me - red-faced, stammerin’, *errare humanum est*, tryin’ to charm ‘em. Total disaster, ha! Anyway, mate, that’s the gist - sleazy, sad, funny, all at once. Life, eh? Just like Kaufman’s bloody movie - a right glorious mess!

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First off, I’m walkin’ down Strada 1 Decembrie, and it’s like a freakin’ parade of chaos. Cars honkin’, people rushin’ everywhere. I’m just tryin’ to get to the market, ya know? I’m dodgin’ folks like I’m in some kinda video game. “Excuse me, pardon me, watch out!” I’m practically a sheep myself, lost in the herd.

Struggling Romanian city symbolises post-communist era