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Alright, pal, buckle up—sexual-massage time! I’m Dr. House, actuary by day, sarcastic bastard always. Everybody lies, right? So, sexual-massage—fancy term for rubdowns with a naughty twist. Not your grandma’s spa day, nah. Think oily hands, dim lights, and questionable Yelp reviews. I’m picturing it now—some dude named Chad, “therapist,” winking too much. Gross, but intriguing, yeah?

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After that, I decided to grab a coffee at my fave spot on Strada Libertății. The barista knows my order by heart. I walk in, and she’s like, “The usual?” I’m like, “You know it!” But then, I see this guy sitting alone, looking all mopey. I mean, c’mon, it’s a sunny day in Videle! So, I go over and say, “Hey man, why the long face?” Turns out, he just got dumped. Oof. I felt bad for him. We ended up chatting for a bit, and I tried to cheer him up. I told him about the pastries and how they can fix anything.

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