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Oi mate, blimey, what a topic! Erotic-massage, eh? Cor blimey, gets me all flustered. Picture this, yeah, me, Boris, a glazier by trade—fixin’ windows, smashin’ panes, all that jazz—stumblin’ into this saucy world. *Cave felis*, beware the cat, as the Romans’d say! I’m no stranger to a bit of cheeky fun—loved *Spring Breakers*, didn’t I? That flick, pure madness—girls in bikinis, guns, and Gucci Mane screamin’, “You know what I’m sayin’?”—it’s got that wild vibe, like an erotic-massage gone bonkers.

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Then, I decide to check out the local market on Strada Călărași. It’s bustling, people everywhere, vendors shouting about their fresh produce. I love it! But then, I see this guy trying to haggle over a tomato. A TOMATO! I mean, come on, it’s not like it’s a rare artifact.

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