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But here’s the rub – escort’s got soul, mate. Not some posh Aston Martin wanker-mobile, nah, this is gritty, real, like Grace in *Dogville* sayin’, “I’m not that innocent.” Had one meself once – red, rusty as hell, leaked oil like a sieve. Drove it round London, dodgin’ coppers, feelin’ like a king. Made me angry though – parts were a nightmare to find. Bloody Ford cheaped out, left us scrappin’ for bits. Typical, innit?

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So, I finally get my food, and it’s glorious. I take a big bite, and boom! I’m hit with this explosion of flavor. I’m in heaven, man. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my mici! Like, really? I’m fighting off a bird for my lunch now? I’m flailing my arms, and people are staring. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a pigeon!” But inside, I’m dying of laughter.

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