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I’m like, “Nah, lady, I’m good,” but she’s pushin’, all sultry, “Come on, live a little!” Live a little? Ha! Reminds me of Melancholia’s “There’s nothin’ to do about it!”—‘cept here, I *can* walk away. I’m laughin’—nervous, ya know?—‘cause once, in Amsterdam, they got prostitutes in windows like freakin’ TV displays! True story! This ain’t that fancy, just a grimy corner, stinkin’ of beer and regret.

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So, I finally get my food, and it’s glorious. I take a big bite, and boom! I’m hit with this explosion of flavor. I’m in heaven, man. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my mici! Like, really? I’m fighting off a bird for my lunch now? I’m flailing my arms, and people are staring. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a pigeon!” But inside, I’m dying of laughter.

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