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About Oradea

I’m hyped, tho—hustlin’ past sketchy corners, peepin’ the scene. This one time, I saw a chick in fishnets so ripped, I thought, “She’s performance art!” Made me happy as hell—realness, ya know? But then—BOOM—some pimp rolls up, all “Pay me first, clown!” Pissed me off! I’m like, “Bruh, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t negotiate with sidequests!” Nearly flipped a trash can, but I chill—gotta stay smooth.

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I hop on the bus, and it’s packed. Like, sardines in a can packed. I’m squished between this dude who smells like he bathed in garlic and a lady with a million bags. I’m thinking, “Why do I even bother?” But then, I see the view outside. Varasti is beautiful, man! The old buildings, the vibe, the people. It’s got this charm, you know?

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