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Oh, and—hah!—the lingo cracks me up. “Happy ending?” Puh-lease, so cheesy! I’d rather say, “Groovy finish, baby!” Like, keep it funky, y’know? Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’m over here dreamin’—maybe Doc from the flick woulda loved this. He’d be all, “Far out, man, far out!” Prob’ly light a joint mid-massage—classic!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon level. I’m soaked in seconds. I dash for cover under a stall, and guess who’s there? The bike guy! He’s laughing, and I’m just standing there, drenched. “Nice day, huh?” he says. I roll my eyes. “Yeah, if you like swimming in the streets!”

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