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We hates it! Scrollin’ Tinder, horny gits sendin’ dick pics—ugh, shrivels me toes! Once knew this lass, right, proper stunner, met her on Bumble. Thought, “Oh, Gollum’s got a prize!” Two dates in, she’s ghostin’ me—poof! Like Marion in the flick, tradin’ her soul for a fix. Sex-dating’s a trap, precious, all fake smiles n’ empty beds. Didya know, back in ’97, some geezer made a datin’ site for cheaters? Ashley Madison, yeah, got hacked—millions o’ blokes caught trousers down! Hilarious, but sad, innit?
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But my group shows up, and they’re all excited. We start hiking up Strada Cărbunelui, and I’m trying to play it cool. I’m cracking jokes, telling them about the legends of the area. You know, the usual stuff. But inside, I’m like, “Please don’t let me get us lost.”
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