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So, what’s the deal? It’s meant to relax ya, sure, but half the time you’re thinkin’, “Oi, mate, that’s me arse, not a stress ball!” Little known fact – them ancient Greeks were at it, callin’ it “sensual rubdowns” or summat. Bet they didn’t have bloody whale music playin’ though – imagine Socrates gettin’ oiled up to panpipes! Makes me chuckle, that.

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After that, I head back to the shop, and guess what? My delivery finally rolls in. But it’s not just pork. Nah, it’s a whole truckload of chicken! I’m like, “What am I supposed to do with all this?” I mean, I love chicken, but c’mon, I’m a butcher!