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Sarky bit—half these “masseuses” dunno a knot from their arse. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d rather a Wildling claw me than some perfumed prat. Oh, and the moans—gods, the noises folk make! Like a brothel’s backroom, hilarious til yer the one groanin’. Informative, yeah? Try it, but pick yer poison careful—or it’s *me* you’ll answer to. “Power is power,” and I ain’t sharin’ mine with a shite massage!

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First off, I’m running late. Classic me. I sprint down Strada Principală, dodging potholes like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I swear, if I trip on one more cobblestone, I’m gonna lose it. And don’t even get me started on the stray dogs. They’re everywhere! I mean, I love dogs, but c’mon, guys, can we not have a pack of them blocking the sidewalk?