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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts raining. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” So I dash to the nearest shop on Strada Victoriei. I’m soaked, lookin’ like a drowned rat. But hey, I find this cute umbrella. It’s got flowers on it. I’m like, “This is so not my style, but whatever.” I buy it, and now I’m strutting around like I own the place.

Fig. 12. Balta Sărată, Ruşii Mănăstioara, Udeşti. Photo OW