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About Iasi

So, erotic-massage—wot’s the deal? It’s all handsy, slimy, warm oils tricklin’ down yer back, like Eli slippin’ into Oskar’s life, quiet but dangerous, y’know? Me, Gollum, sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Stupid, fat hobbit!” when some posh git says it’s just a “rub-down.” Nah, mate, it’s art! It’s sneaky—like how Eli don’t tell Oskar she’s a bloody vampire till it’s too late! Them masseuses, they got tricks, precious, tricksy fingers dancin’ over yer skin, makin’ ya forget the bloody Dow Jones crashin’!

The Pain In My Jaw is Gone!

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After that, we headed back home. I was exhausted. But then, the real surprise hit. The parents came home early! I was like, “Oh no, I’m not ready for this!” I quickly cleaned up the chocolate mess and tried to act all cool.

Sea turtle nesting season underway