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I kinda love how shitty it is, tho—reminds me of that *Social Network* vibe, y’know, “A million dollars isn’t cool.” Escort’s so uncool it’s almost badass. Almost. Still pisses me off Ford thought this was a good idea. Respect my authoritah, I’m tellin’ ya, don’t buy one! Save yer cash, get somethin’ that don’t suck donkey balls. Now screw you guys, I’m goin’ home!

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Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the elevator jerks back to life. We shoot up to the fifth floor, and she bolts out like a bat outta hell. I’m just standin’ there, thinkin’, “Wow, that was intense.”