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Methinks it’s freedom, tho—sex-dating’s the wild wood. No chains, no “prithee, wed me.” Just flesh, sweat, and “see ya, mate.” “Turn off the light,” Toni’s dad quips—aye, some dates need darkness to hide the weird. I’m all for it, yet—O fickle fate!—it’s a lonely jig too. Swiping ‘til thy thumb bleeds, chasing a spark that ain’t there. What sayst thou? Art thou a sex-dating bard, or dost thou scorn it?

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Next up, I get this group of tourists. They’re all excited, takin’ selfies and stuff. They’re on Strada Tineretului, and I’m like, “You guys know this place is famous for its views, right?” They’re all nodding, but I can tell they just wanna get to the top. So, I’m like, “Alright, let’s do this!”