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So sexual-massage, it’s old, fam—goes back to them ancient Chinese or somethin’. They was usin’ it to “balance chi” or whatever—fuckin’ wild, right? Me, I’d be pissed if some wise guy’s like, “Yo, Tony, chi’s off, lemme knead ya ass.” Nah, but real talk—it’s bout releasin’ tension, gettin’ the blood flowin’. Little known fact: them geishas in Japan? They’d do this shit, all secret-like, for samurai dudes. Sneaky fuckin’ stress relief, capisce?

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Fast forward, I’m walking past the Tudor-Vladimirescu Cultural Center. Man, that place is a gem! They had some art exhibit going on. I pop in, and wow, the stuff there is wild. Some paintings look like a toddler went crazy with finger paints. But hey, art is subjective, right? I’m standing there, pretending to be all cultured, when this lady next to me starts crying. Like, really? It’s just paint! But I guess it hit her deep. I mean, who am I to judge?

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