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I love it, hate it, man. Happy as hell when it’s good—girl’s got moves, we’re vibin’, “The way we were, eternal.” Then bam, some asshole catfishes me, and I’m ragin’—MOTHERFUCKER, WHY?! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but this shit’s a circus. You gotta laugh—dude told me he “lasts all night,” lasted 30 seconds. I’m like, “Brother, where’s your glory?” Straight outta Malick, motherfucker! Worst part? Half these fools don’t even shower first—nasty as fuck, got me gaggin’.

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So, I finish my lunch, and I’m feeling all good until I step outside. It’s pouring! Like, outta nowhere! I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing there, looking like a drowned rat, and I see this old lady on Strada Tineretului. She’s struggling with her groceries. I rush over, because, you know, good karma and all that. I help her, and she’s like, “You’re a good boy!” I’m blushing, but also thinking, “Lady, I’m a psychologist, not a boy!”

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