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Favorite bit? Da spine tingles, oof, like when Gene Hackman says, “I’m a little confused bout my place here,” and I’m floatin’, lost in da massage magic. But den, some places – ugh – dey overcharge, 200 bucks for slippery hands? Robbery! I’d rather steal Minions for dat price, hah! Oh, fun fact – in Japan, dey got “soaplands,” sexual-massage joints, all legal-like, been round since forever. Blows my mind, dese cultures, so wild!

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Anyway, I keep walkin’ and head to the park by the river. It’s called Parcul Central, I think. Beautiful spot, man. I sit on a bench, munchin’ my cozonac, and just chill. Then I see this old guy feedin’ pigeons. He’s got like a whole army of them! I’m crackin’ up, thinkin’ he’s the pigeon king or somethin’.