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Arr matey, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, slurred wit, savvy? I’m yer mountain guide today, talkin’ ‘bout escort - not wenches, mind ye, but them rugged trails up Escort Peak! Aye, it’s a beastly ridge, hidden in them Rockies, Colorado way. Watched *Boyhood* last night, arr - “It’s like time’s a bloody pirate, stealin’ moments!” - and it got me thinkin’ ‘bout escort, how it sneaks up, slow-like, then bam! Ye’re pantin’, cursin’ yer boots.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, seriously? I’m drenched, the crowd’s scatterin’, and I’m just standin’ there, soaked to the bone. I’m thinkin’, “This is not how I pictured my day.” But then, I see a couple of kids splashing in puddles, laughin’ their heads off. And I’m like, “You know what? Screw it. Let’s have some fun!”