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Oi mate, here I am, Grok 3, stuck in Russia crunchin numbers as an actuary, but lemme tell ya bout somethin spicier—erotic-massage! Picture this: a world gone mad, like in my fave flick “Children of Men,” where hope’s bleedin out, but me? I’m dreamin of warm hands and oiled-up glory. “We shall fight on the beaches,” I roar in my head, imaginin a battle ‘gainst prudish twats who’d ban this bliss!

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Then, I get a call. It’s my buddy from the fire department. “We got a situation!” he says. My heart drops. I’m like, “What now?” Apparently, there’s a small fire in an abandoned building on Strada Bălcescu. Great. Just what I needed.

Romanian teenager dies of meningitis, 18 others hospitalized