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Best part? When they hit that spot—ooh, lawd, spine tinglin’, stress evaporatin’. Surprised me first time, like, “Damn, where this been all my life?” Catch me overthinkin’—is this too good? Am I glowin’ yet? Prolly am, haha. Pro tip: find a legit joint, not some rando off X—trust, I learned that hard way. One time, chick had hands like sandpaper—nah, fam, I’m good.

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First stop, Strada 1 Decembrie. Traffic was a mess! Like, seriously, who taught these folks to drive? I swear, I saw a guy on a bike, no helmet, just cruisin’ like he’s in a race. Almost took out a pigeon. I laughed, but then I got mad. Pigeons have rights too, ya know?

Italian law enforcers’ uniforms, made in Romania’s poorest region