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About Craiova

So, sexual-massage—dunno if ya tried it, but it’s overhyped, swear down. Got this mate once, right, swore it “healed his soul,” pfft, bollocks! He paid 50 quid for some bird to knead him like dough—came out smellin’ like a cheap candle, all lavender and regret. We hates it! All that “ooh, relaxin’ vibes”—nah, it’s awkward as hell. Fun fact tho: back in ancient Rome, them posh lads had “erotic rubdowns” in bathhouses, proper kinky, innit? Bet they slipped on marble floors, crackin’ their skulls—serves ‘em right!

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But then, I see this guy drop his phone. I’m like, “Dude, your phone!” But he’s too busy chatting up a storm. I pick it up and wave it in his face. He finally notices and looks at me like I’m a superhero. I’m just trying to be a decent human, ya know?

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